The Ego vs the Authentic Self

If we aim to transcend ourselves, we need to understand the difference between our egos and our authentic selves to learn to lead more frequently from our authentic selves.

The ego is that part of our consciousness designed to protect us. It serves a purpose and is necessary for us because it provides us with a healthy sense of self-worth, and it gives us the confidence to set boundaries with others, advocate for ourselves, and pursue goals and dreams. The problem is that it can quickly get out of control. In its desire to protect us, we can become fearful, defensive, reactive, closed-minded, and selfish. In his book Leadership Mindset 2.0, Michael Anderson says, "Simply put, all poor leadership behaviors and habits are ego-driven."

In contrast, our authentic selves provide peace, security, and a sense of calm. When we feel stressed or in conflict, we do not feel threatened, but as Anderson states in Leadership Mindset 2.0, we are creative, open, and safe. This allows us to transcend ourselves, focus on the situation, and be present to others who need our leadership, guidance, and love.

The first step to understanding our ego is to become more self-aware and recognize our ego's patterns. Personally, when I feel "heavy," like fear or anxiety, that signals that the ego is taking over. Comparing ourselves to others, feeling and reacting to fear, attempting to control a situation, and comparing ourselves are all signals that the ego is in charge versus our authentic selves.

We know when we are tapping into our authentic consciousness when we listen with the intent to understand, respond instead of reacting, and accept situations and outcomes we cannot control; our self-worth comes from internal instead of external validation. The hint that we are leading and operating from the authentic and higher self is that we feel lighter, and so will those around us.

I encourage you to start paying attention to your ego patterns. You can write down the situation, your feelings, and your reaction. This will create self-awareness. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself some grace, this is a journey.